the stars are off...

Someone close to me wrote this and I thought I'd share it for those folks who are feeling the same -- there seem to be several of you right now ;-)

Failure
Disappointment and shame
All hopes discouraged
All fears resurface

Deserted by the courage to be strong
Overcome with sadness
To describe this is impossible

Meaningless encouragement
Unwanted pity
Sympathy has no place here

Here I travel alone
Forced to accept the reality
Of failure
Time heals not
The internal scars
That never fade

The pain that remains
A reminder of your limitations
A challenge to your confidence

A formidable opponent
An insurmountable hurdle
Paralyzing and frightening
Emaciated and weak
Thirsting for the strength to believe
Lacking the spirit to trust myself

I stand here, faithless
Questioning my path
Praying for direction.
Take my hand
Raise my morale
I am begging you.

Please.

Latest News of Interest

Microsoft Buys Medical Records System - the enemey crosses lines. hmm maybe a job with the big M wouldn't be soo bad...

Backlash from bloggers as Indian censors shut websites - actually old news now...but worth knowing about

Down Syndrome Gene -- A Discovery!

Scientists have discovered a connection between the App gene known to be involved in the degradation of mental abilities in Alzheimer's patients and the mental retardation experienced in individuals with Down Syndrome. They're even tinkering around in mice with possible ways to reduce the affects. In the scope of things, a nominal breakthrough for science - a special moment for me since my brother has Down Syndrome:

Possible Treatment for Down's Syndrome Retardation may Involve Interference with Gene - Same Gene might Cause Alzheimer's

I read the news from several different venues and I'm still feeling a little high re-reading it again for this post. Crazy what a small treat of hope can do :)

That's all for tonight.

If you were a billionaire...

Could you ...

Warren Buffett, the world's second-richest person, is donating...more than 80 percent of his fortune.. full article

Buffet is the man.

Little India to Little Italy and back home

So I finally paid my visit to the Big Apple this weekend. It was great. I had no plans before getting there but managed to stay busy most of the 4 days I had. Besides the nice touristy attractions and roaming around Manhattan I got a chance to soak in the spirit of New York. My friends and I were near Ground Zero one night and decided to make a stop there. Eerie feeling when I realized the site was actually 5 years old and still hollow. Kind of weird how it blended into the hustle of the city though...you know kind of like walking past an old acquaintance on not acknowledging them -- thats what that night felt like when I looked around. Anyways, like a good tourist I took my pictures and moved on.

Besides midtown my friends also took me around Little Italy, NOLIA, SOHO, etc...I felt like I was in India with the street fair and the people on the streets. I think that's what I like most about the city. There's a family feeling that welcomes even strangers and tourists.

Female Feticide and the motherland..

I'm afraid to get started on this topic because its one of the few that gets my blood-pressure from the regular below-normal Dolly-level to dangerously high and raging levels. India Together often posts articles on the topic and its certainly not news to the general Indian or Indian American community what goes on in rural and urban areas that allows the abortion of female fetuses. Sometimes its difficult to be proud of your heritage when at this moment the general Indian population seems to think its perfectly acceptable to place a pricetag on the female child. Of course this isn't an isolated problem. The general position of the female in Indian society has a lot to do with why this practice is acceptable and continues in the ever-so-praised "largest democracy" and country known for its peaceful and spiritual aura. What I was surprised to read was that feticide is more popular amongst the educated in Punjab! What the Washington Post

Mama's Crossing the Border...

So the latest argument over the Senate's CIRA bill granting amnesty to the millions of illegal immigrants working in this country is that we'll have a such a serious influx of Mexican and Latin American immigrants that essentially the country will be "transformed." Essentially everyone who gets granted amnesty can bring their dependent parents, spouses and children so the numbers are exponentially higher than previously discussed. So now the white guys are jumping up down screaming for their representatives to stop this before they become the minority in the country. So the only natural thing to do is, of course, grant amnesty, bring the mexicans over here and then tell them they all need learn english. Yep, today the Senate passed a law to make English the official language of the country. Why this wasn't done before is beyond me. I understand its not necessary because this is the country of immigrants. The country that lets you retain your heritage but enjoy the freedoms that come with living in the current world economic superpower. But really boys, laws like this shouldn't come about because we're afraid that our identity will be stolen by the Mexicans and their mamas. English is already the primary language that federal discourse is conducted in so making it official would not have been a problem before. Funny how this administration touts the idea of being secure and fighting terrorism when really what it seems to be all about fear. Fear of the turbaned guy. Fear of the latinos ...

ugh

ugh. all forms of chocolate should be kept away from emotional women.

yes, you may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

India's Capital: Rude and Crude

Hmm. Interesting article in Outlook India on the culture or lack-there-of in Delhi. India's rape capital -- creepy! The reduced pollution, the booming economy, the new overpasses/roads...I noticed all this as soon as we stepped out on day 1 last year when I visited India with my family. The creepiness came later when you see people (== nasty guys) giving you looks without giving you a look. I didn't get it for the longest time. I assumed it was because we were American or dressed funny but I guess its going to happen if you're groomed, light skinned and a young female. Hmm. Disappointing more than anything else.

Delhi's Seven Deadly Sins

Aggressive, lawless driving; India's road accident capital
Touting, hustling culture, grab-what-you-can-get mentality: law-breaking acceptable across classes, everything 'negotiable'
Callousness towards the vulnerable: disabled, visitors, elderly, poor
Most unsafe city in India for women; India's rape capital
Obsession with hierarchy & status
Officious, self-important political and bureaucratic class
Appalling cultural and professional manners

Aren't a lot of these just exaggerated attitudes of the "FOB"s you run into here in the states? The callousness towards the vulnerable -- don't even get me started on this. Its part of the reason we didn't' take my brother with us on our trip. Obsession with hierarchy and status...ha. That is definitely not something new. The whole where are you from in Delhi ...its a lot like asking someone which borough in New York you live in (not work in because those are entirely separate ;-)). The lack of respect for people's time and the lack of respect for the law -- I have a hard time believing this is also a qualifying Delhi trait since over half the H1-ites here carry the exact same mentality. I don't think all the Indians I've met are from Delhi so something makes me think the attitude isn't necessarily genuinely of the city. Perhaps all the negatives of the 'westernization' of the east is managing to deposit in the capital and now its prevalent enough to make the journalists speak out.

haha I guess this would not be the time to mention the last on my list of 'prospects': A Delhi-ite that definitely used his first conversation with me to express how 1)good looking he is 2)his BMW was in the shop and 3)his father was from Harvard...~_~

Saving Darfur

If you haven't already sent your postcard to Bush on behalf of savedarfurg.org please do. It literally takes a few seconds online.

I went to the rally on Sunday. It was interesting to see people from so many religious denominations coming together. (I walked in just as the Sikh represenative was saying a prayer from the Guru Granth Sahib...I couldn't see the stage to see who was up there delivering it but I think it was a rep from the Intefaith council.) You saw lots of people carrying different religious symbols, particularly Jewish and Christians representing their church or synagogue. I think its important that people from different faiths can come together on an issue like this where it could easily be turned into Islam vs the "good people" instead of Genocide vs Humanity and the presenters recognized this in their selection of speakers as well.

One thing that was interesting was when I was leaving I came across a few gentleman essentially protesting the rally. They weren't running around with flyers or signs -- just sitting quietly at a table w/an newspaper article clipping and several copies of a text they were selling. They claimed that labelling the atrocities in Darfur a genocide was hurting more than it was helping because the Janjiwid and the Sudanese government basically doesn't want to be told what to do by anyone else and that butting in with words like 'genocide' and using the United States international power is keeping the rebels from a peace agreement. An all inclusive agreement was not reached today when talks were set to take place and the so-called deadline has been extended another 48 hours. Perhaps its possible these "protesters" have a valid argument but even after reading the small article they were advertising I wasn't convinced. If anyone knows of anything related that goes beyond this article feel free to educate!

Who are the Singles?

Never Married Singles - Youngest Group 25 million men 20 million women
Separated & Divorced - The Midlife Group. 18 million total
Widowed Singles - The Oldest Group. women outnumber men 5 to 1 11.2 million women 2.1 million men. 3

It is important to note that women who remain single and are college educated have:

Higher I.Q.'s
More Education
More Prestigious Occupations
Higher Incomes
Better Mental Health / Well Being

These are women actively choosing singlehood over marriage.

I think the last one is the most important here. What good is a life without well being or good mental health? Anyways, I'm just taking notes for the next parental you're-getting-older-and-need-to-start-looking-for-someone lecture that I can tell is about to repeat itself soon.

The War Tapes

The War Tapes the first war movie filmed by soldiers themselves

I want to see this film. Its a collaboration between director, Deborah Scranton, and real footage from 10 national guard troops in combat who carried digital cameras along. Too bad its screening in NYC not here. Regardless of which side of the debate you're on, it would interesting to get the soldiers' views (literally!) on the Iraq war:

Africa Malaria Day 2006

Its today and there's new hope. Every year a million people die of malaria -- and not surprisingly enough 90% of these deaths occur in Africa. You have The Global Fund to Fight Aids, Tuberculosis and Malaria and of course there's the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation and their initiatives as well. (There's a nice article in the Washington post on how they've used their clout to get pharmaceuticals to do what's right instead of what's profitable not just on the Malaria front but for AIDS and other pressing global health concerns. The headline graphic clearly shows that we'll do just enough to make our nation's "philanthropy" a statistic but not enough to make the difference -- we'll leave saving the world to the billionaires-with-souls). In an AllAfrica.com article I read this morning a former Minister of Health of Senegal says ...growing awareness of the burden malaria imposes on societies trying to develop economically and the availability of the new class of artiminisin-based drugs has given renewed impetus to the effort. Awareness. Of course that's a big piece of the pie. But, what I'd like to know is why Bill Gates is managing to do what the WHO and World Bank supposedly pour so much money into while managing to operate a billion dollar corporation that sucks the life out of their workers (to be discussed later).

The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation provided initial funding for the Malaria Control and Evaluation Partnership in Africa (Macepa), whose intensive work in Zambia is aimed at modeling a comprehensive, coordinated nationwide effort to cut malaria-related deaths by 75 percent within three years. After a year of planning and initial action, Macepa has brought over a dozen international partners into a collaboration with Zambian government interventions to create an integrated response.

Malawi, one of the few countries spared from conflict like many of its neighbors, is one of ten African countries taking part in the initial phase of the quick-impact initiative on malaria that will try to follow the protocols used in Zambia. Granted, the UN and their initiatives are key to solving the 'there are too many poor and sick in Africa' problem(s)....what's just not clear is why in 2004 this initiative for using ACTs was put on paper knowing it is too expensive for these countries to implement independent of private (namely pharmaceutical) involvement. And when I say involvement I mean making these drugs available to them one way or the other (get your money from Bill Gates, grow a conscience, a combination of the above...etc).

Disclaimer: I am new to most of the development issues that I might comment on. Blogging about all this is just a release of mental energy and a way for me to take my DatelineHealthAfrica.net volunteer experience to heart. Feel free to point me in the right direction any time!

current events

So apparantly Mr. Monopoly is having slight issues:
Taken from here:

We are pleased to be able to offer your group complimentary* MONOPOLY® games for use in your tournament, as well as three other games for prizes. In order for you to receive these games, please mail the completed Event Registration Form (include a street address, we cannot deliver to a P.O. Box) to Hasbro Games, 443 Shaker Road, East Longmeadow, MA 01028 or fax it to 413-526-4820.

Giving away free monopolies?? And that too to not 1 but several at a time? ...and you wonder why yesterday's news headline claims: Hasbro Posts Loss
As if having the name Hasbro isn't an uphill battle already.

sometimes i wish...

...i didn't have to ride an emotional rollercoaster to get over every bump in the road that separates my parents generation from mine or the culture gap that divides indian from indian american.

...my head would listen to my heart every once in a while.

...i didn't wish so much.

Lou Dobbs is the Man

I love Lou Dobbs. He has no problem telling it like it is when it comes to this immigration mess thats currently being hashed out up on Capitol Hill:
(Janet Murguia is the president and CEO of The National Council of La Raza is the largest Latino civil rights and advocacy organization in this country)

MURGUIA: There's a common agenda here in the sense that we want to provide an opportunity to fix the broken system. It needs a comprehensive solution...
DOBBS: OK, here's a solution.
MURGUIA: ... that includes enforcement and it includes a guest worker program in dealing with those 12 million undocument.
DOBBS: Here's a solution. You tell me what's wrong it. First we secure our borders. Then we create a rational and humane immigration policy.
We take control of the immigration and our borders in that order.
MURGUIA: We can do enforcement and we can make sure we're supporting some opportunities. We can walk and chew gum at the same time. We really can, we're in the 21st century, we can figure this out. We're a nation of laws and a nation with immigrations.
DOBBS: Janet, I would love to say you're right, but you're watching people go on the set and say they're not talking about amnesty when they're talking about guest workers program. You're catching people sit there and say to you that they're -- please, they're equating Hispanics and illegal aliens.

What do you mean we can walk and chew gum at the same time?! NO! Obviously we cannot. There are 5 gazillion different laws trying to make their way to permanency -- hence the need for prioritization. Its not like this 11-13 million illegal immigrants just walked across the border last night. We have not been able to and/or not cared enough to control the border since forever and its not a problem that just crept up on us while were were taking a nap last night. There's a lovely drawn out process to work out how laws are made and implemented and everyone knows even if we wanted him to Bush couldn't just snap his fingers and solve the problem(s). Seriously: border security first -- everything else afterwards.

======================================
Check it out: Its about time something like this came together (even if the design needs a little help...at least its a move in the right direction.)
=======================================

In more important news..I think I've become a white person. This is definitely the second weekend this spring I've managed to get sunburned just walking around DC.

Happy Birthday to my sis!

Happy Birthday Connie!

also.

Happy Vaisakhi.

too many birthdays not enough time to celebrate ;-)